What does practicing NLP look like?

My most used word while teaching Neuro Linguistic Programming is “practice”.

I can sound like a broken tape or vinyl record sometimes. Often when people enquire about the program, they enquire and ask if I teach certain techniques or tools. Those are fair questions to ask.

I am also contacted for enquiries on what I teach in the NLP program and some times by others who have learnt NLP already and now want to advance their knowledge.

And I often go back to the fundamental question of asking them “how are they practicing what they have learnt?” I some times get a puzzled look, or a counter question like “what do you mean?” And often give them a silly baking example that illustrates the difference between memorizing a recipe versus standing next to someone and learning how a cake is baked, and then going back to your own kitchen and trying several times over until you find your feet in being able to bake a decent cake. If you reach there, you can say you have been able to create a cake as per recipe. And the several attempts after that probably make you better until eventually it is indistinguishable who you learnt to bake from or which recipe you referred to, because now your cake bears your own signature.

There is the difference between, knowing, practicing, failing, refining and reliably recreating a cake. NLP is just like that! To boil it down to techniques or knowledge is like saying I know how to bake a cake because I know the recipe inside out.

Let me share an anecdote from an interview with the acclaimed actor late Irrfan Khan. I have listened to many interviews of movie actors. And here is what I picked up from Irrfan Khan, who we all know is one of the best actors who ever lived.

When he signed up for a role, he would read the script many times over, to get into the world of the character. So that the audience doesn’t think that this actor walked into this movie and “performed” this character for 2 hours of the duration of the movie. Irrfan felt that you are bringing a person’s life on to the screen. So watching a character shouldn’t feel any different than how you would feel if you observed your co-passenger on a train or a bus.

If you give the audience the effect that the acting was good, then you have failed, as you were showing off how good an actor you are.

But, if your audience went back believing that what they saw on screen was the life of that one person in that story, then you did your job well, as they were able to witness the life of a person in those 2 hours of observation.

My aim, and this is my personal preference, is that our skills in NLP become a seamless extension of life. You could use NLP skills as a student, as a sales person, as a trainer, as a coach, as a parent, as a teacher, as a musician, as a manager, as a leader, etc. If you are able to show off your skills, then people will remember you as being very skilled. But if people remember the effect your interaction had on their life, in the context they were dealing with, and helped them move forward, they would have experienced the application of skills, and not its demonstration!

If you are able to show your NLP skills, that’s good, but if you are able to use it seamlessly, then you are truly using NLP. Remember, we don’t need to show anyone how well we breathe do we? We just breathe.

That’s what is the closest to what we think is magic. That something which is obvious and right in front of us, but yet seemingly invisible, and makes us wonder what really happened. In many ways, that’s what we say, when we taste a good cake – that it feels magical or heavenly!

My endeavour is to equip you with high-quality NLP skills, in a way that it is difficult for you to discern that you are using them! But we will go through the whole journey of knowing the recipe, to creating some finesse, some magic.

So, if you are fascinated about exploring, discovering or creating new patterns that bring workability and alignment in your life, and doing so in a manner that is best suited to you or for others, then the NLP Foundation Course might be a choice you may want to consider.

My new batch for the NLP Foundation Course commences today and I will be on this 12-week journey with a new bunch of inquisitive and growth-minded individuals, who will take NLP skills into their lives! If you’d like to jump on to this adventure, drop me a message or sign up using the link below.

And be warned, practice is a word you might begin to hate, but you will enjoy the process of going through practice!